Gilligan's Island (My rejected script, XXX)

“The Professor’s Island” Roberto Dilemma (My Rejected Script) Now this is a story about, “Gilligan’s Island” “THE DAY THE PROFESSOR SNAPS” Now if you listen to the song at the beginning,. They went for, “a three hour tour.” It isn’t any wonder that boat sank. Professor just had to bring boxes and boxes of reference books etc. Mr. Howell had to bring trunks full of cash. Mrs. Howell had to bring furs, other clothes and a giant jewelry box full of millions of dollars in gold, gems, etc. Why was Ginger wearing a gold lame’ evening gown? At least she brought a bathing suite. Now little Mary Ann…the one all the men want to have sex with. I’ve asked quite a few- 8 out of 10 say “Mary Ann”. Well at least she didn’t bring a bundle of crap to weigh the “Tiny Ship” down. That’s another phrase/lyric out of the Intro song…I would never describe that, “Minnow” as a “Tiny Ship”. It was a fuckin’ fishing boat! Well this is a script. For my own version of the old TV show. The song is different. The lyric makes more sense. It also it mentions a premonition “The Professor” had about the boat going down. That’s why he brought along the books, survival books Zoom into a scene of, “The Lagoon”. We see a sweaty Gilligan deepening irrigation ditches to divert water from a fresh water fall, to crops. The camera get closer and you can see scares on his back where he’d been beaten with a whip. He takes out a rag. It used to be his red shit. It’s damn near pink now and he wipes the sweat from his face and head. Through a clearing down a path, the Professor approaches, he’s got Ginger nearly hanging on him. She’s massaging his groin area. Professor-”How’s it going Gilligan. I thought you’d be done by now. Keep slacking Mother Fucker and I’ll have your ass tied back to that whipping post in a New York Heartbeat!” Gilligan, looking down on his muddy sandals that were once his shoes-“Yes sir. I move a bit faster…” Professor-“Fuck YOU!! A bit faster, you want to eat? You want to live? You’d all be god damn skeletons if I hadn’t been on that piece of shit boat. You fuckin’ haul ass and get this done. I’ve got other things that need to be done.” Gilligan-…“but what’s Porky (formerly known as, The Skipper) doing?” Professor- “Shut the fuck up and dig asshole, Is this Bitch Boy’s Island? NO!!! It’s the Professors Island! Don’t worry about fat ass . I got him making sure algae doesn’t build up in the lagoon. SO WE CAN HARVEST FISH. Now Dig!” They’ve been on the Island a little over a year. The Professor, had thought because Mr. Howell was suppose to be so god-damn important they’d be rescued for sure. After about nine months of hard labor, building practical things around the island. The Professor got pretty strong. He could barely get the others to help. They were either too weak or too stupid. They would wreak more things then they fixed/built. But this would change. The professor snapped. He comes out of his hut one day. He’s been busting his ass on a windmill. This would not only make flour but also power a few mechanical things, labor saving devices, washing machine, etc.. He walks up and bitch slaps Gilligan right across his face. Everyone is sitting there. They’re all stunned. The skipper gets up and starts to say something about, “ NOT treating his “Little Buddy”… And the Professor socks him in his fat belly, he doubles over and an uppercut knocks him on his ass. Professor-”I’ve watched this stupid ass mother fucker, screw up every attempt at getting off this Island we’ve worked hard to do. Things are changing NOW!!! “ Professor looks at Gilligan, red handprint on his face,. He’s crying like a six year old girl. Ginger & Mary Ann are fawning over him. Stroking his face softly where the Professor slapped him. The Professor grabs both Ginger & Mary Ann by the hair. Ginger stumbles to her knees. The Professor rubs her face into his crotch roughly. He lets go of Ginger. He pulls Mary Ann right up next to his body and kisses her hard, long, and wet. While squeezing her ass cheeks, one in each hand. He lets go of her. She takes one step back and sighs. There’s spit from a sloppy kiss all over her chin. The professor says-”If it isn’t spit, it isn’t love!” You are now BOTH MY WOMEN!! It won’t get you out of working, but it will have it’s perks!” Mr. Howell-”Professor I totally agree, and I think…” Professor-”You won’t think. You’re a fuckin’ money grubbing pig bitch” “I got a plan about dealing with you and your god-damn money later” Mr. Howell-”I think we can come to an arrangement… Professor-(Shouts) Eat your fuckin’ money asshole. Then he grabs Mrs. Howell by the hair and pulls him to her also. Professor-”ALL THE WOMEN ARE MINE!” Mr. Howell-”But sir you are talking about my wife there, He gets a slap similar to the one Gilligan got. It knocks him back into his seat. Professor-”You’ll be lucky to fuck her, sloppy thirds on Christmas”! Now Gilligan is whimpering, and the skipper just rolled over. He started to say something and was promptly kicked in the ribs,( but not too hard)…by the professor. Professor-“Now I am in charge. This Is Not a democracy. You will listen and execute all my instructions to the letter. Think hard, I will explain things a couple of times. If you have any questions, ASK FROM THE START!. No voting on anything. I let all our well being depend on you dim-wits for too long!” Mr. Howell- “Well Professor, I think a little talk about payment for such services….” Professor interrupts-”You Like Money Mr. Howell? “ Mr. Howell- confessing his un-dying love for money. Professor-”Mr. Howell, bring me a stack of hundred dollar bills, the women and I will be in the clearing down by the lagoon.” They get to the clearing. A beautiful grassy area near the lagoon. Professor-”Mary Ann, I like the way them shorts are wearing out. I’ve drooled over that ass hanging out of those shorts for many a day & night.” Mary Ann turns sideways and arches her back, turns around and “pretends” to scratch her ankle while looking at the Professor from between her legs. Ginger is standing glazed look in her eyes, mouth hanging open. Mrs. Howell is breathing hard and sweat has broken out on her upper lip area. Professor-”Mary Ann crawl over here slow. Ginger, you still got panties? Take off all your clothes except your panties” Ginger and Mary Ann Do as they are told. They’ve been “Needing” something for a long time also. At that moment Mr. Howell bumbles into the clearing. Mr. Howell- “Lovie!!! what’s going on here???” Professor slaps him again. He drops a box of hundred dollar bills. Professor-”You like money, I like Money?” Mr. Howell-” Oh yes, yes…” Professor-”You like money, I like money” Mr. Howell- “you know I love money, professor, I just love Money”. Professor- “Mr. Howell, come over here by the shore of the lagoon” He does. Professor-” Ginger, Mary Ann, I want Mr. Howell naked from the waist down. Do it pleasingly. Sexy like. Don’t worry you won’t have to do anything to the ugly old bastard.” Professor-”Do you girls like money?” Ginger & Mary Ann say nothing. Now they got him naked to the waist, they observe he is becoming aroused. Professor-“Ginger, rub his cock on those “Movie Star” lips of yours, then rub it all over that face.” She complies. (Fear , lust, or both… the first act of blatant sexuality in over a year.) The Professor whispers something to Mary Ann. She was suggestively posing in the grass, occasionally Touching herself. Professor-”Mrs. Howell Pick up that money and put it back in that box.” Mrs. Howell- “Do you want me to take off my clothes?” Professor-“yea, but leave something on, a slip. I’m sure your beautiful for a woman your age. You are going to make a wonderful hand-maiden for my women.” She doesn’t quite hear what he’s saying. She seems in a hurry to get her clothes off. Mary Ann has walked over to Mr. Howell, She whispers something in his ear. Then leads him to the ground by his “Pud”. The she arranges him so he’s, “Buns up & Kneeling“, on the grass next to the water. Mrs. Howell is now standing there in nothing but a silk slip, holding a box of hundred dollar bills. Professor-”You like money Mrs. Howell?” Mrs. Howell- “Not like my husband!” Professor-”That’s good to hear!” Professor-”Lets go over here and deal with that husband of yours” Mr. Howell is totally aroused now as he watches Mary Ann undo her red checkered table cloth looking top. It is tied in the middle. She starts rolling her nipples around with her thumb and forefinger. Mrs. Howell- “THUSTON HOWELL THE THIRD!” This seems to wake him from some stupor/dream The Professor explains, -”Mrs. Howell, you take one of these hundred dollar bills, roll it up.” He shows her what he means. “Roll the bill the short way.” She doesn’t understand “Yet” why she is doing this. Mr. Howell is staring at Mary Ann, and he tries to grab his wife. Professor, pulls him back by his hair. The handful that remains in the professor’s hand, after getting Mr. Howell back in position is rubbed in Mr. Howell’s face. Professor-”Now Mrs. Howell, you roll them up like this. The you dip about half of it in the water.” Mr. Howell quietly stays where he’s at on his elbows and knees. Professor-”Then you ask your husband, do you like money, I like money?” “Just like that, Let me hear you say it.” Mrs. Howell-”Do you like money, I like money?” Professor-”Then when your husband answers, you shove one of those rolled up c-note up his ass.” Mrs. Howell-”I will not” You could see her nipples were erect, and she kept trying to touch herself, but did well controlling this urge. …but she was obviously turned on. Professor-”Well Mrs. Howell, I hope you got an asshole that ready for a box of money….” Mrs. Howell-”sighs” OK, I’ll shove it up the greedy “money is the most important thing in the world? HUH? Thurston???” Mr. Howell- …“Butt Lovie???” Mrs. Howell- “Professor I think he needs a few thousand dollars shoved in his mouth too!” (I guess Mrs. Howell had some pent up anger & frustration?) Professor-”Ginger, make yourself useful, no need to roll the money for his mouth, just wad it up, dip it in the water, the dip it in the sand…then shove it in his mouth till he can’t run his suck!” “Don’t kill him, I don’t want anyone hurt. Slaves aren’t easy to come by on this island.“ They watch while Mrs. Howell keeps asking the question, “You like money, I like money?” To which Thurston would always reply, “yes“…and every time she shoved another hundred dollar bill up his ass. (Poopy Money!) At the seven hundred dollar mark Ol’ Thurston Howell the Third came like a sperm whale, and was begging, Lovie” for more money up his ass. Professor thought, sick fuck, I knew he was warped but he’s seriously fucked in the head. Professor-”Ginger, keep an eye on these two, and don’t worry, I’ll be ready for you.” The Professor stepped out of sight with Mary Ann. “Imagine“… a lot went down in a sloppy fifty minutes. It seemed like they were both very hungry for each other. Professor hears a pounding or rattling of some type. Round two was over with Mary Ann (for now) You could smell the sex. They had each others juices all over their sweaty bodies and faces. He looks around. What could be making that sound? It’s Gilligan and the Skipper watching Mary Ann & the Professor and jacking each other off. Their faces are RED and their sweating, and their eyes are closed tight. Professor also notices some tools he’d made to dig and chop tress. He‘s thinking, these two dim-wits were going to come and TRY to beat my ass, maybe even kill me…but they seen us going around the world and just couldn’t help themselves. Could’ve caught me with my pants down. The Professor quickly & quietly sneaks over to where they’re sitting on a log, (Helping each other) Grabs this giant shell he had strapped to a pole to use as a shovel, and tosses it, then he grabs a sharp flat stone he had attached to a pole to use as an axe of sorts. He couldn’t fuckin’ believe it. Their faces still red…they were lost in their tug out. He set the axe thing down and picked up two hard mangos. As soon as he seen them starting to ejaculate, He pounded them both pretty damn hard right in the side of their heads. It was like the Three Stooges, their heads banged together. Mary Ann Laughed out loud. The professor had saved all wood or lumber that was on the island or drifted onto shore. He had a pole. Big around as a telephone pole. Over thirteen feet long The day The Professor snapped he was an inspired man. For the bit of treachery form Gilligan & the Skipper he had them bring some large stones about a half mile or so. From the hill where the professor was building the Mill, to the sunniest part of the most humid buggy field on the island. Then he had them dig a hole. Twenty four inches around, five feet deep. By now Mr. Howell learned some kind of lesson. He pulled all the money out of his ass. Shit some out. He was now helping Gilligan & The Skipper.(by orders from The Professor) No one could get near The Professor to hit him, or try to hurt him. Shit rolls downhill, and the professor did not say anything about Gilligan or the Skipper, NOT slapping around Mr. Howell, or bitching at him. So need-less to say, he caught a lot of shit. They got the hole dug. Professor-”Now all three of you working as a team get that big log, bring it here.” The Professor knew he could only give them so many steps when it came to directions. Too many at once and something was sure to get done wrong. They brought the log. Professor-”Now, stand it up in the hole. Stick all those rocks around it so it doesn’t wiggle. Then pack it in real tight. With good hard clay. If this is not done correctly you will be finding out what this is for sooner then you’d like”. Mrs. Howell was directed to give Ginger & Mary Ann all her clothes. Mary Ann and Ginger were altering them to the professors fashion designs. He was going for the Sexy Warrior Woman look for His Women. Mrs. Howell was given the chore of weaving her jewelry into nine strands of strong rope. She was told, “They Had Better Not Fall Out, No matter what is done with “The Ropes” The Professor comes back. His women are looking good and working on their NEW clothes. Mrs. Howell Is still braiding rings, broaches, hat pins, and stuff into strands of rope. She is doing a very good job. Professor-“Mary Ann get something together for dinner. Gilligan, Skipper, & Mr. Howell will eat the fish heads and fish guts. If they don’t like it they can starve. They will also get the peelings and scraps of all fruits and vegetables we eat. Unless I directly tell you otherwise.” “Mary Ann, I know you, if you are caught sneaking them MY FOOD, & our food. You will eat with them for a month. For that same month you will be their pleasure slave.” “ Especially when they do a sweaty work.” Maybe that will help you to hold to “The Professor’s Laws”!” “Keep Working on that Mrs. Howell.” Now it was the Professors turn to slip off with Ginger. Now Ginger did not get to be “The Big Movie Star” she was on her acting ability. As a matter of fact she could barely act. She had only one character she played well, The Dim- Witted Whore”, which wasn’t really that much of a stretch for her because that’s pretty much what she was. Now…use your Imagine Nation here people. Go there. Professor had a nasty time with her. This shit was rated XXXX. They petty much went through every category of porn that a single man and women could do. (This IS NOT a porno story, it’s comedy, this is why you HAVE TO use your Imagine Nation.) Ginger done things to and for the professor that he would have never thought of. Professor-”My fuckin’ GOD! Woman…when you let that god-damn whore out of the cage you can’t control it” Ginger is just smiling at the professor, on her knees in the grass, doing something I won’t even type here. (Time to use your Imagine Nation again.) Professor-”God-damn Mary Ann was Normal compared to you” Ginger-(hissing, purring, sighing) ”I’m your fuckin’ whore professor, I’m your bitch-whore”. Professor-”Enough already, god-damn” The professor is close enough to Ginger, she grabs him and he feels like she’s trying to shove her head up his ass. “Mouth First” Professor-”Calm the fuck down” He pushes her away and gives her a firm, but not hard slap. Ginger-”Professor, beat me! Whip me, Try to make me right again, I’ll try every little trick…I never used before…” She seemed to like this. The professor walks away . For the first time in his life, he’s turn on, and off at the same time. He feels almost ashamed of himself. Being, “The professor” he’s giving this a lot of thought. He walks off to look in on the others. Mary Ann is cooking up something. Mrs. Howell is proud and ready to show the professor her handy work. Still stunned (somewhat) by Ginger’s performance, he sits down and looks at the nine pieces of rope Mrs. Howell has braided her jewelry into. Professor-”Nice” he says to Mrs. Howell She’s standing next to him. She starts to explain what each piece is, where it comes from, how much it’s worth. Professor-”I don’t give a flyin’ fuck” He’s holding each piece by the rope end. Mrs. Howell finds out first what this is all about as he slaps her across the ass with his new, jewel encrusted Cat-of-nine tales. She lets out a YELP. He very strongly attaches them to the end of a stick, this will serve as the handle. He takes it with him. He thinking, I’ll also need something a little less severe. Professor-”Now lets see if they got that pole in place” Mrs. Howell-(all steamy under the silk) “What do you want me to do now professor?, what can I do for you? I’ll do ANYTHING?” The professor just looks at her, shakes his head and tells her-”Help Mary Ann.” He’s on his way to see that the men got that post secured. He’s thinking, money people, all fuckin’ freaks, deep down…like pagan Rome, fuckin’ money people. He gets to where the Pole is. Sure enough it’s there. Sunk in the ground. He puts down his new jewel encrusted cat-of-nine-tales. He tries to give it a shake. Good and solid. But where is Gillian? Where is The Skipper? Where and the hell is Mr. Howell? He picks up his cat of nine tales, and goes on full alert! Now he listens. He hears weird sounds. Sounds like starving pigs eating slop for the first time in a month. He quietly follows the sound. What do you think he finds? It’s Ginger, doing her best to service Gillian, Skipper, and Mr. Howell all at the same time. They are off into it. The tools they used to set the pole are laying in the grass, along with a big stick that could easily be used as a club. He whips, and I MEAN!!! whips Skipper across his fat ass with the cat-of -nine-tales. Skipper-”Screams, loud and hurt” The only reason Skipper was the one that got whipped is because his fat ass was the only clear shot Professor had at the tangled flesh that was getting their nut on, in, with, or without, Ginger. These Mother Fuckers were “On The Wild”. This didn’t stop shit. Skipper just thought it was another one of Ginger’s freaky moves. Professor takes one step back. Looks at the scene and thinks, My fuckin’ god!!! His second thought is one of a learned man. Fuck it, I’ll give ‘em their moment. Finally things seem to be winding down. Professor-”God-Damn” Ginger-(excitedly explaining)” when I came here they had that pole in place and were planning to ambush you!” The others are scrambling for articles of their clothes. Tying to get their shit somewhat together. Skipper makes a lunge for the pole like club laying in the grass not to far from where he grabbed his raggedy pants. Now the Professor lays a mean whip across his back with that cat-of-nine-tails. He lets out a sound like something in-between a cat hissing a pig squealing. Professor-”Smart move porky. Say “Skipper” is no longer your moniker” Skipper-(interrupts, visually in quite a deal of pain) “You’ve fuckin’ lost it Professor, what the fuck is a moniker?” Skipper who is from now on going to be called Porky get bitch slapped by the Professor. Skipper-”YELP!!!!GOD-DAMN!!!” Professor-”It’s your name, or what we used to call you, useless fat ass shit with legs that you are!” “From now on everyone will refer to you as Porky, till otherwise directed by me”. Gillian giggles a little bit. Professor-”you think that’s funny, What the fuck I think is funny is you and skipper going at Ginger like that, I would have bet you two were gay”. Gillian-”Well we’re not gay, it’s just that men that spend a lot of time on a boat together without a woman, well…they..” Professor-”SHUT THE FUCK UP BITCH BOY” “In fact that is going to be your new name, BITCH BOY,. How do you like that” “Now Poky and Mr. Howell what’s Gillian’s new name?” Porky (formerly Skipper) & Mr. Howell, in unison- “Bitch Boy” Professor-”if I hear you call him anything else there will be consequences” Ginger standing there looking like a glazed doughnut-”Did I do good Professor” Professor-”Clean yourself off you nasty whore, and thanks…for distracting these three assholes”. Ginger-”My Pleasure, I’ll do anything for you Professor…ANYTHING”… Professor-”You’ve done plenty for now, and yea…I bet it was your pleasure”. Mr. Howell-”I hope I can persuade you from mentioning this to Mrs. Howell” Professor-”How by offering me more of your useless money. Eat your fuckin’ money you greedy pig. Your on a deserted island. What the hell do you think we’re gonna buy here with that cash?” “You see stores? Car dealerships? Your money isn’t worth shit on this Island, In fact if I don’t think of a better use for it I’ll be using it to wipe my ass with.” “Why in the hell did you see it necessary to bring so much money with you?” “Being the big time millionaire you are, why the hell don’t you have your own Bad ass ship with a competent crew?” Ginger returns, wearing nothing but wet panties. Professor-”Go find something, besides your gold evening gown or bathing suite to wear” “Start showing some modesty , around these freaks. Put on some of those clothes you got from Mrs. Howell” Professor-”That’s another thing, why and the hell did you dumb ass wife feel it necessary to bring trunks of clothes and furs, along with a couple giant jewelry boxes on a god-damn three hour tour aboard a fishing boat?” Mr. Howell-”Oh Lovie just like to be prepared for anything, and she also like to always bring her favorite jewelry and furs with her where ever…” Professor-(Bitch slaps Mr. Howell and screams three inches from his face) “SHUT THE FUCK UP!!” “She’s just stupid a stupid and greedy showoff just like you “ Gillian snickers-”You seem to like slapping people hard across the face pro….” Gillian get a walloping bitch slap! Professor-”Fuck yes I do! Wanna talk about it, BITCH BOY” Gillian starts crying like a six year old girl again. Professor pokes him in the nose with the three fore fingers on his right hand. Professor-”SHUT THE FUCK UP! I’m not going to be listening to any more of your bawling like a six year old girl that just skinned her knee on her bike” Gillian tries to get it under control. Professor-”Toughen Up!” They all go back. Mary Ann has some good looking food cooked up. Mrs. Howell (Still just wearing a slip) finds it rewarding to be setting the table with things that had been salvaged from the boat. Professor-”Separate these tables, Mrs. Howell…you’ll be doing the serving and sitting at our table. Those three stupid ass slaves will sit off to the side” Professor watches as the food is plated. Professor-”where is the slop from you cleaning these fish?” Mary Ann-”I’ve saved it in a bucket, like we usually do to use as bait to catch more fish.” Professor-”…and Mary Ann, what did I say these chump ass slaves that can barely do anything right are going to eat?” Mary Ann-”But Professor, there’re plenty for everyone…” Professor-(interrupts)”That is not the god-damn point here girl!” Mary Ann-”but Professor…” Professor-”now Mary Ann, we can do this the hard way, or we can do this the easy way, Lay that sweet ass of your across my lap” No one says a thing. Mary Ann is standing there, tears running down her face, biting her lip” Professor-”NOW!” She does as she’s told and the Professor spanks the hell out of he ass” (Not a pants down spanking, but painful) Professor-(speaking to Ginger)“Now bring their plates of food over her and put them by me, GINGER, WAKE THE FUCK UP! You see me looking at you. YES, I’m not asking Mrs. Movie Star Slut, I’m telling you, Bring their plates over to ME!” “Mrs. Howell, get the chum bucket, and for that little act of NOT LISTENING, Mary Ann, your stupid ass friends there will be eating fish heads and guts, with fruit scraps off the GOD-DAMN GROUND!” Mr. Howell-”But Professor, please.” Professor just picks up his new little whip and shows it to Mr. Howell. Mr. Howell stops talking. Professor-”Mary Ann since it looks and smells so good, your lucky you won’t be joining them eating their shit from the sand”. Professor-”Listen people, I’m not an unreasonable man. Once we get a certain amount of work done to assure our survival, and measures taken to signal any passing ships or planes, I’ll lighten up I promise”. Professor-”Bitch Boy, come here”. Gillian does not move. He’s staring at the fish heads and other shit that’s suppose to be his dinner. He’s hungry. Professor-”It seems like someone has forgotten his new name“, (Now singing it) “Bitch Boy Come Here.“ Mr. Howell pokes Bitch Boy (formerly known as Gillian) Gillian gets up. Afraid, face red on both sides from being slapped. Gillian-”Yea Professor?” The Professor gets up. There are his plate and the three others that were going to be served to the Professors new slave crew. Professor-”Bitch Boy, My little buddy, I want you to go a head and just eat my plate of food” Mary Ann-(rubbing her sore ass cheeks) lets out a strange little sound. The professor shoots her a LOOK! Bitch Boy (Gillian)-”Why thanks Professor.” Porky (Skipper) and Mr. Howell just look up at him. They wonder, why him. We want to eat good stuff off the table also? Gillian gets to eating. He has about three quarters of the plate finished when his head drops, like a bag of wet cement…right onto his plate. Professor-”Mary Ann!!!! You better pray to fuckin’ God this Bitch Boy Slave lives or you will be doing every bit of work he would have done….plus your own!!!” “What the fuck did you put in my food?” Mary Ann (scared, crying so hard she can hardly catch her breath) “They were just some of Mrs. Howell’s sleeping pills. I’m sure there wasn’t enough to kill him. We don’t want to kill you professor.” Professor-”you keep this shit up and you sure as hell gonna wish I was dead” Professor is looking at her. He feels sorry for her. He’s never seen anyone cry like that. Professor-”If he’s alive in the mourning, I’ll decide what to do with you then. Tonight…you don’t eat. You will sleep tied securely to that pole. “ Mary Ann knows there’s strange animals, poison bugs, and snakes she’s scared. The professor is also aware of conditions in that field where he had that pole staked. Professor-”Stop crying woman, I was harsh, eat, sleep by my side tonight” “But if Bitch Boy is dead come mourning, I’ll know your intentions.” “Listen, Mary Ann, I think you are probably the most normal person on this island, including my now CRAZY self. I like you, lets hope this works out.” -THE END- (of this episode)